I didn't think I'd laugh but...

I can now.

As many of you know, I’ve (touch wood) finished chemo and await the final round of treatment which is Radiotherapy. Once you get through something you can look back, and chemo is a wild ride — not one I'd recommend for the thrill factor, but it's got its moments. Between the nausea, the naps, and the navigating PICC line incidents, I've collected a few giggle moments.

1. The “Chemo Glow” Isn’t What You Think
   Everyone keeps saying “….you look really well” but it’s the steroids that have amazingly smoothed some of your wrinkles.

2. Beware of Open-Top Car Rides

   A friend invited me out for a summer evening spin in her open-top Land Rover (yes, the kind with no roof and maximum wind). It turns out open-top Land Rovers and wigs aren’t the most compatible combo. One gust of wind and mine nearly took off, possibly traumatising the driver behind us. I clung on like a cartoon character in a gale, we were laughing so hard I nearly forgot to be embarrassed. Note to self: next time, a 1950s starlet headscarf is essential.

3. You Suddenly Understand Dogs on a Deep Level
   Food, naps, weird bathroom habits, intense loyalty to the person who brings the most snacks.

4. You Invent New Types of Tired

   There’s “fog tired,” “bone tired,” “can’t-lift-the-remote tired,” and “accidentally-napped-on-the-studio-floor tired.”

5. The Secret to Good Bloods? A Little Jiggle
   For weeks, drawing blood was a drama — even with the PICC line. Until we discovered the magic trick: a pre-bloods jiggle. A little shoulder shimmy, and voilà — blood flows like a charm. The nurses and I celebrate over a full vial like it’s a shot of tequila.

6. Everyone Talks About Poo. Openly. Conversations about bowel movements become as casual as talking about the weather. “Bit breezy today” could refer to wind or digestion. And my best advice is to never ever trust a fart.

   

   “Don’t scare me, I fart easily”

7. Eyebrow Stencils Are Not Made for Real Humans
   Along with the hair loss eyebrows slowly disappear so you buy eyebrow products in an attempt to look less like E.T’s sister, in this case eyebrow stencils and powder… but the stencil shapes are straight from a cartoon character lineup. One minute you’re tying to pull off a surprised Pikachu look, the next it’s Cruella meets Mr Bean. You absolutely piss yourself laughing at your own reflection. It’s the most fun you’ve had in weeks.

8. Boobs and bras

   I had my fitting this week—for a breast prosthesis and a bra to match. The care was so gentle, kind, and full of dignity. The underwear however? Let’s just say I’ve been invited into the mysterious world of “supportive and well structured neutrals”.

   What really surprised me was realising how much I’d been subconsciously pulling my shoulders forward—trying to hide my new shape without even noticing. As if I could fold myself away a little. I realised the fitting wasn’t just about bras, my lovely bra fitter gave me a quiet nudge to lift my posture, to take up space again.

   Somewhere between the gentle prodding and the “supportive” cup shapes, I found myself looking in the mirror thinking: surely there’s room for a little more joy here? I’m no fashion designer, but if ever there were a moment to consider it, this might be it.

   

9. You Look at Photos of Yourself Before Treatment and Don’t Recognise Her
   She looks certain. Composed. Like she had a plan. You stare at her like she’s a character from another life — one you’re oddly fond of but can no longer reach. And then in a surreal moment Baz Luhrmann’s voice drifts in from somewhere in the 90s:

   “You’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you, and how fabulous you really looked.”

   
   And it’s true. You see her now — her softness, her strength, her oblivious bravery — and realise you never gave her enough credit at the time. But you don’t want to go back. You're curious about who you’re becoming next, something a little braver, tougher, with a little more sass. And she might just be the most fabulous of all.

If you’re going through treatment right now—or walking alongside someone who is—here’s something I’ve learned: gather the moments that make you giggle. They’ll sneak up on you, often in the oddest places, like windy Land Rovers or fitting rooms full of beige. And when they do, hold onto them. Those laughs are more than just a lift—they’re a tonic. A tiny rebellion. And sometimes, they carry the gentlest lessons in disguise.

❤️ Sam x